I used to wonder if I would ever find love in my life to build a family with. After being held down in sorrow and anger for so long, working tirelessly in school and work, I did everything I could to try some form of a social life. Countless times, I found myself with a broken heart to the point where I thought what was the point of finding love when it would always lead to growing more sorrow and anger within me. After years of trying and failing, I gave up on finding love in a partner.
After I gave up, I just finished my school studies and just went to work, walked my dog, and started rebuilding my connection and faith with God/The Higher Power. After many trials and tribulations my family experienced and after losing everything in a fire, my family and I started to rebuild a connection with each other. No matter what we faced with these difficult times, my family was able to stay strong and started to rebuild our happiness and peace with one another.
Fast forward a few years later after rebuilding our bridges with one another after experiencing so much fear and anger for so long, I finally met a partner and we have been together now for nearly two years and all I can do, now, is thank God/The Higher Power for being with me and seeing that overcoming the anger and fear, building bridges rather than allowing walls to grow, reaps more benefits than giving up and letting anger and sorrow to flourish. Though the road was more difficult, it was necessary for a harvest of happiness.
This leads me to think about motives behind rebuilding bridges instead of letting anger and sorrow flourished. I see anger as bamboo where it can grow quickly into a barricade or it can be cut down and be used to build bridges with others to diffuse anger. I see sorrow as a weed, reminding us to tend to our hearts when happiness is threatened. I see happiness as a flower that blooms from a tree of content when we are growing peace in us.
What would be a motive, then, to take on anger, sorrow, fear and what have you? We could have easily let anger build up like a wall to my family member who became addicted, we could have easily let sorrow overcome us knowing that family member may have been no longer with us. Unconditional Love, in my view, is a driving force.
Unconditional love has been greatly studied and explained in many faiths and religions of the world, psychology, sociology, and so on. There are Christians who may base their unconditional love on the famous quote of John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”. Some Christians may base their unconditional love for those around them solely on the picture of what Jesus represented.
Outside of Christianity, Muslims may base their love founded on various verses in the Quran such as guarding themselves against sin, trusting in God/The Higher Power. In other faiths and religions, love can be based on a variety of different entities such as love gods/godesses, mythologies on the power of love, and folk love stories – such a those told by the Penobscot by Newell Lion.
Beyond faith and religion, psychology has also taken into the study of love. In an article by John Amodeo Ph.D., MFT, he writes, “‘Unconditional love’ can set us up for something unattainable. We have a need not only to love but also to be loved. Rather than pursuing an unrealistic ideal, we can pursue a path that enables us to be attentive to others, while also being responsive to our own legitimate longings.”
To add another view on unconditional love, many sites on love between two people will have this defined as offering love without condition while making points on having boundaries so the unconditional love is not abused by a person – as noted by MindBodyGreen.Com.
From my own experience, I found unconditional love to be very different where, no matter how powerful anger grows and how fast sorrow spreads, having love for one another – and strong love at that – can tear down boundaries that were built on hate, sorrow, and what have you and still be defined as unconditional.
From my experience, to what love is defined as in faith and religion, psychology, and other views on unconditional love, there are various different ways we can view what love is, how it is defined, and beyond. This, however, leads me to question how love and unconditional love are truly defined.
In my view, unconditional love may be defined as the following: Offering love without condition to life around us from our partners, family, animals, plants, The Earth, God/The Higher Power and ourselves that transcends conditions and boundaries for the following reasons: build better and stronger connections with one another, diffuse any and all anger and sorrow, promote the growth of happiness and strength with each other, and to overcome the greatest obstacles that may inhibit our paths to happiness and peace.
Love Involves Everything
The definition I find unconditional love to be may be long-winded because love involves many aspects of our lives, in my view. There are studies that plants do respond to love and affection, various and countless quotes in numerous religious texts share that God/The Higher Power has love for not only humanity, but for all creation, love can promote forgiveness of any transgressions with families and friends, love can remind us that there is a different and better life that is not shrouded in anger and sorrow. Love can help us find who we are and how we are connected.
I never thought my family would stick together after seeing everything we worked hard for get turned to ash in the house fire. For many years, I was full of sorrow and anger that I saw my mother and father distraught to see the house they worked so hard to build got destroyed; however, the love they had for one another, constantly praying for aid from God/The Higher Power, seeing through those terrible times, and keeping our family together made me realize that unconditional love, in the way that I see it defined as, is one of the greatest powers we, as humans, have.
In my view, realizing that unconditional love is attainable is almost as important as realizing God/The Higher power is always with us.
Be well and be safe and Healthy